This is a great question, and I'm sorry the datamethods group wasn't really helpful (need to remember that the group is R oriented for a lot of things).
Without sounding cruel, could you please tell me how a negative value for a variance has meaning in the context of real data? That question, by itself, led to the development of REML methods, as the Henderson type I methods (which can give negative values) were severely biased in estimating breeding values (animal breeding was the first big adopter of mixed model methods, so far as I know). We know ML estimators are biased, and REML estimators less biased, and are asymptotically unbiased. So this is a learning experience for me - I can't wrap my head around how to interpret a negative variance. Either the true value is a boundary condition (=0) or the model is misspecified in some sense. OK, I'll put the soapbox away for a while and try answering the first part of your post.
A copy of the output (at least for the random effects and the model) would be really helpful in addressing your questions. In return, I refer you to the following papers in hopes that it will help:
Stroup&Claassen Pseudolikelihood vs Quadrature
Kiernan SGF GLIMMIX categorical outcomes with random effects
Note that there is a clear contradiction between Kiernan and Stroup&Claassen regarding bias of estimates, when comparing REML (pseudo-likelihood) to ML (.Laplace or quadrature methods). Personally, if my interest was primarily in fixed effects, I would use REML methods, and if primarily interested in random effects, I would use ML methods, and accept the inherent bias of MLE's as compared to REML estimates. I suppose that is where the negative variances arise. You might consider using some of the empirical shrinkage methods in that case, to see if it "improves" those estimates.
SteveDenham
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